I am the mom of six, that's right six, three boys and three girls. My oldest is 26 and the mommy to my grandson. My baby is 14. Married? Yep, for 28 years, to the same man, and yes they are all ours. Of course we know how it happened, (it’s the water, right?), and no I don't happen to think that I’m crazy!!! What gave me this blog idea is that I get asked parenting questions all the time. Ok, ok, what qualifies me to answer questions about parenting other than having a bunch of kids? Lots of people have lots of kids. I am by no means an “expert”, I mean who REALLY is? But having six of them we have seen a lot, everything from teenage rebellion, to an ambulance helicopter ride to the hospital, from the first date, to the unhappy report card, from the baby who won't eat, to the baby won't go to sleep, and when mommy thinks the time has come, the baby won't poop in the potty!!! I’ve gotten tons of questions about newborns including "How have you survived?" I’ve watched them reach young adulthood and have been asked, “What do you do when they start to leave home?” Finally, the big question, “What can I do to be a better parent?” I want to help you answer some of these questions.
That's where the University part comes in....these little creatures do not come out of mommy with an instruction manual! I remember buying a couple of books about infant care and breast feeding. I asked my mom lots of questions but quickly found myself completely unprepared for this little demanding alien that was not letting me sleep, wanting to eat every ten minutes (or so it seemed!), demanding a diaper change, manufacturing quarts of spit-up, and begging for attention while I was trying to get my housework done! Obviously I needed to do more homework, more studying, ask the professors (seasoned parents) more questions. I needed sage advice to help me to apply this knowledge so that I could help this tiny human. Yes, this little human that had the audacity to grow and change and move to a new stage of life, so that I needed to prepare and study all over again. It was exhausting...but I learned.
We (mom and dad) needed to develop a parenting strategy so that we were both on the same page. We knew that we, (we means me! mom!! LOL), needed to create some order out of the chaos that seemed to be all around us. This baby was running our lives. We needed a schedule. Not one that was so rigid that we that we became slaves to the baby, but one that would fit our lifestyle and be tolerable, (and maybe even enjoyable), for everyone. This parenting strategy had to grow and change as our family changed.
I thought about this after our first trip out with our six week old daughter. We went to visit my in-laws who lived in another town. Long drive. The baby was sleeping so didn't stop to feed her until she woke up. Lots of people holding her all afternoon, then out to dinner at a very fine restaurant, (not a kid in sight!!!), and......you guessed it....baby (first) and mommy (in a close second) meltdown!!!! There was a balance. We had to find it, and quick!!
A tidbit that I got from my Mom that helped me (I mean us!) to develop this parenting strategy, (don't we all hate it when we hear what our parents used to say come out of our mouths!!!), was that as my brother and I were growing up Mom said, "Dad and I love you, now behave so everyone else will love you!!!" I think that maybe she was a little worried that our behavior might reflect badly on her and her parenting skills. We have all seen those kids. Maybe we have even BEEN those kids. I am sure parents have even warned their kids to stay away from those kids! I know I have :-) How did Mom and Dad do it? How did they develop character in us so that we WANTED to do the right thing? Does this training start from day one? You bet!
How can we measure parenting success? Is it by how well your kids are liked by you? By others? Are they people of excellent character? Do they do the right thing even when no one is watching? Do they have concern for others and put others first?
I want to tell you my stories about pregnancy, babies, adult children, and every story in between, but most of all I want you to share your stories and questions with me. Together we can navigate this maze we call parenting. The only limit - keep it all PG rated. (Yes, we can talk about husbands and marriage stuff too!) I want to keep the discussion honest and constructive. Sharing in the process of parenting has been very valuable to me. I guess that is why this "blogging" format might prove to be a valuable tool for you too! So let’s go!
Until next time! “Hey Mom!”
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